Alex Maskara
Thoughts, Stories, Imagination of Filipino American Alex Maskara
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POPONG
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Hosea 3 – Hosea’s Reconciliation With His Wife
3 The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.”
2 So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and about a homer and a lethek of barley. 3 Then I told her, “You are to live with me for many days; you must not be a prostitute or be intimate with any man, and I will behave the same way toward you.”
4 For the Israelites will live many days without a king or prince, without sacrifice or sacred stones, without ephod or household gods. 5 Afterward, the Israelites will return and seek the Lord their God and David their king. They will come trembling to the Lord and to His blessings in the last days.
Hosea was a prophet who experienced a relationship that, in some ways, mirrors my own encounters. I have prayed about the kinds of people who repeatedly cross my path—individuals I know I do not belong to and whose lives remain unchanged despite my kindness. At times, I have even feared that my acts of generosity might inadvertently worsen their circumstances.
These individuals are the homeless people I have encountered while walking in the park. Many, if not all, are deeply entangled in drug use, whether they admit it or not. I have long accepted that my interactions with them are fleeting and hold no real significance, yet our paths continue to cross. As a result, they frequently ask me for money, often to fuel their addictions. I try to justify my kindness by giving them small change, hoping they will use it for coffee or soda rather than drugs, but more often than not, I am wrong. I repeatedly see them under the influence. Even if I only give a small amount, they manage to gather more from others, ultimately securing enough for their vices.
Realizing this, I made the decision to stop visiting the park where they linger. They may choose to remain in their circumstances, but I have the power to move on. I am in a better place now—retired, though still working two hours a day. There is no reason for me to limit my daily cardio to one small town when there are so many other places to explore. Additionally, my body is signaling the need to reduce the intensity of my workouts. My knees can no longer handle the strain of my former 4-5 mile daily walks. I now experience back pain, knee pain, and hip pain. My failing eyesight prevents me from going out at night. Financially, I must also be more cautious —I can no longer afford to give money away carelessly. At 62, I also recognize that while aging can be graceful, I am becoming increasingly invisible to the world. The homeless people that would seek me as a friend are those who think of me as a potential enabler.
Last night, I watched a news feature on YouTube about two elderly gay men in Miami who were murdered by a young, illegal immigrant from Hungary. While details were scarce, I am sure the crime was committed out of desperation—perhaps a dispute, a request to leave, or a withdrawal of financial support. Likely, these men no longer had the resources to sustain the young man. The tragedy was easily dismissed, as no family members stepped forward to demand an investigation. The nature of the crime likely caused shame, making it easier for relatives to remain silent rather than acknowledge the circumstances. Who would want to probe further when the outcome was already predictable? A young illegal immigrant befriends elderly men, and something goes wrong. Sadly, the blame often falls on the victims.
This story serves as a cautionary tale, reinforcing lessons I must heed. First, I should not accumulate wealth beyond my needs. Excess money can tempt one to “purchase” companionship, leading to vulnerabilities and potentially dangerous situations. Second, I must not indulge in the illusion of friendships or relationships with those who do not align with my age, lifestyle, or values. In my younger years, I occasionally associated with people outside my league simply because I could afford to. These relationships often brought endless stress and, at times, real trouble—especially when dealing with individuals battling addiction or mental instability. Drug use, in particular, can lead to uncontrollable rage, a warning sign I have learned to recognize and avoid.
Above all, I must place my trust in God, especially at this stage of my life. I am grateful for the subtle ways He guides me—through physical discomfort that alters my routine, through a newfound appreciation for meditation, and through the discipline of exercise, which keeps me grounded. These changes have helped me distance myself from unnecessary social entanglements and potential dangers.
Furthermore, I find solace in the stability of my living arrangement. My tenant, Jim, provides a sense of security despite his occasional late rent payments. We live in quiet companionship, both valuing our solitude. He spends his time watching sports with beer and cigarettes, while I retreat to my room to read, blog, and create content for social media. We barely speak, yet there is an unspoken agreement to be there for each other in times of emergency.
My sister’s illness also keeps me grounded, preventing me from wandering into places I no longer consider safe. I have contemplated returning to my old hometown, but my visit to Manila three years ago made me realize how vulnerable I have become. My instincts are no longer as sharp. I was naïve enough to befriend someone who ended up stealing money from my bag. Thankfully, I had hidden my wallet and phone, but the incident reminded me that I no longer possess the street smarts I once had. One misstep could erase the respect I have earned among my family and community.
Indeed, the Lord instructs me to stay still, to remain where I am, and to marvel at His wonders. In the past, I was easily coaxed into aimless wanderings, wasting time, money, and energy searching for something indefinable. But now, I see the wisdom in stillness. The Lord has removed me from situations that could have led to misery. I am grateful for this new clarity.
Little by little, those I mistakenly engaged with are disappearing from my life. Chris is in the hospital, recovering from a chronic leg injury. Jeff resents me for mentioning his drug use to another homeless man after giving him small money. Steve, poor Steve, has vanished—perhaps he finally entered rehab, where he belongs. He has children who depend on him. Even the old Juan, who used to call me incessantly, has stopped reaching out after I refused to give him money. It seems my prayers for distance from these encounters have been answered.
There is no value in maintaining superficial friendships with people. At my age, I cannot afford to waste time in empty company. I refuse to end up like the elderly men in those tragic stories—seeking fulfillment in dangerous places, only to meet a tragic end.
And so, I continue my path of self-discipline and self-reflection, grateful that the Lord is clearing my way. In a few moments, I will drive to the dealership for my scheduled oil change, then return home to enjoy my well-earned rest. There is a book waiting to be read, a web project to complete, and a new strengthening exercise routine to establish. Of course, I’ll document it for my social media.
Ultimately, I am at peace, knowing that God is leading me in the right direction. One step at a time, He is guiding me away from danger and toward a life of wisdom and contentment.
2025-03-06 17:08:54
popong
Popong 20
Hosea 3 – Hosea’s Reconciliation With His Wife
3 The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.”
2 So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and about a homer and a lethek of barley. 3 Then I told her, “You are to live with me for many days; you must not be a prostitute or be intimate with any man, and I will behave the same way toward you.”
4 For the Israelites will live many days without a king or prince, without sacrifice or sacred stones, without ephod or household gods. 5 Afterward, the Israelites will return and seek the Lord their God and David their king. They will come trembling to the Lord and to His blessings in the last days.
Hosea was a prophet who experienced a relationship that, in some ways, mirrors my own encounters. I have prayed about the kinds of people who repeatedly cross my path—individuals I know I do not belong to and whose lives remain unchanged despite my kindness. At times, I have even feared that my acts of generosity might inadvertently worsen their circumstances.
These individuals are the homeless people I have encountered while walking in the park. Many, if not all, are deeply entangled in drug use, whether they admit it or not. I have long accepted that my interactions with them are fleeting and hold no real significance, yet our paths continue to cross. As a result, they frequently ask me for money, often to fuel their addictions. I try to justify my kindness by giving them small change, hoping they will use it for coffee or soda rather than drugs, but more often than not, I am wrong. I repeatedly see them under the influence. Even if I only give a small amount, they manage to gather more from others, ultimately securing enough for their vices.
Realizing this, I made the decision to stop visiting the park where they linger. They may choose to remain in their circumstances, but I have the power to move on. I am in a better place now—retired, though still working two hours a day. There is no reason for me to limit my daily cardio to one small town when there are so many other places to explore. Additionally, my body is signaling the need to reduce the intensity of my workouts. My knees can no longer handle the strain of my former 4-5 mile daily walks. I now experience back pain, knee pain, and hip pain. My failing eyesight prevents me from going out at night. Financially, I must also be more cautious —I can no longer afford to give money away carelessly. At 62, I also recognize that while aging can be graceful, I am becoming increasingly invisible to the world. The homeless people that would seek me as a friend are those who think of me as a potential enabler.
Last night, I watched a news feature on YouTube about two elderly gay men in Miami who were murdered by a young, illegal immigrant from Hungary. While details were scarce, I am sure the crime was committed out of desperation—perhaps a dispute, a request to leave, or a withdrawal of financial support. Likely, these men no longer had the resources to sustain the young man. The tragedy was easily dismissed, as no family members stepped forward to demand an investigation. The nature of the crime likely caused shame, making it easier for relatives to remain silent rather than acknowledge the circumstances. Who would want to probe further when the outcome was already predictable? A young illegal immigrant befriends elderly men, and something goes wrong. Sadly, the blame often falls on the victims.
This story serves as a cautionary tale, reinforcing lessons I must heed. First, I should not accumulate wealth beyond my needs. Excess money can tempt one to “purchase” companionship, leading to vulnerabilities and potentially dangerous situations. Second, I must not indulge in the illusion of friendships or relationships with those who do not align with my age, lifestyle, or values. In my younger years, I occasionally associated with people outside my league simply because I could afford to. These relationships often brought endless stress and, at times, real trouble—especially when dealing with individuals battling addiction or mental instability. Drug use, in particular, can lead to uncontrollable rage, a warning sign I have learned to recognize and avoid.
Above all, I must place my trust in God, especially at this stage of my life. I am grateful for the subtle ways He guides me—through physical discomfort that alters my routine, through a newfound appreciation for meditation, and through the discipline of exercise, which keeps me grounded. These changes have helped me distance myself from unnecessary social entanglements and potential dangers.
Furthermore, I find solace in the stability of my living arrangement. My tenant, Jim, provides a sense of security despite his occasional late rent payments. We live in quiet companionship, both valuing our solitude. He spends his time watching sports with beer and cigarettes, while I retreat to my room to read, blog, and create content for social media. We barely speak, yet there is an unspoken agreement to be there for each other in times of emergency.
My sister’s illness also keeps me grounded, preventing me from wandering into places I no longer consider safe. I have contemplated returning to my old hometown, but my visit to Manila three years ago made me realize how vulnerable I have become. My instincts are no longer as sharp. I was naïve enough to befriend someone who ended up stealing money from my bag. Thankfully, I had hidden my wallet and phone, but the incident reminded me that I no longer possess the street smarts I once had. One misstep could erase the respect I have earned among my family and community.
Indeed, the Lord instructs me to stay still, to remain where I am, and to marvel at His wonders. In the past, I was easily coaxed into aimless wanderings, wasting time, money, and energy searching for something indefinable. But now, I see the wisdom in stillness. The Lord has removed me from situations that could have led to misery. I am grateful for this new clarity.
Little by little, those I mistakenly engaged with are disappearing from my life. Chris is in the hospital, recovering from a chronic leg injury. Jeff resents me for mentioning his drug use to another homeless man after giving him small money. Steve, poor Steve, has vanished—perhaps he finally entered rehab, where he belongs. He has children who depend on him. Even the old Juan, who used to call me incessantly, has stopped reaching out after I refused to give him money. It seems my prayers for distance from these encounters have been answered.
There is no value in maintaining superficial friendships with people. At my age, I cannot afford to waste time in empty company. I refuse to end up like the elderly men in those tragic stories—seeking fulfillment in dangerous places, only to meet a tragic end.
And so, I continue my path of self-discipline and self-reflection, grateful that the Lord is clearing my way. In a few moments, I will drive to the dealership for my scheduled oil change, then return home to enjoy my well-earned rest. There is a book waiting to be read, a web project to complete, and a new strengthening exercise routine to establish. Of course, I’ll document it for my social media.
Ultimately, I am at peace, knowing that God is leading me in the right direction. One step at a time, He is guiding me away from danger and toward a life of wisdom and contentment.
2025-03-06 17:08:54
popong