Popong 19/ Life is Learning and Exploring

I’m up early again, having had a relatively decent amount of sleep. I could tell I strained my eyes a lot yesterday because it took a while for my vision to adjust to the light. I spent too much time staring at screens without resting my eyes, caught up in video editing practice using multiple tools. It was fun and productive, but anything that overworks my eyes can take a toll on my 62-year-old vision. That’s something I need to keep in mind.

Still, I’m pleased with my small accomplishment. I learned a few basic techniques—designing pages and videos, combining text, and mixing elements to create reels or shorts. It was a creative and fulfilling exercise. Of course, platforms like Facebook aren’t built for self-learning; they’re designed for endless user engagement—scrolling from one reel to another, keeping people hooked. I admit, I got caught up in that for a few hours too. But that kind of content consumption is more suited to the younger generation. Kids today are conditioned to absorb quick bursts of sensory stimuli, jumping from one video to another until they exhaust themselves or something else captures their attention.

My type of creativity isn’t trendy anymore, but that’s fine. At this stage, I’m not chasing virality—I just want to keep my mind active. I’m sticking to what I’ve always enjoyed: blogging, web development, and working on small coding projects. These aren’t the dominant trends anymore. In fact, some in Big Tech claim that beginner-level coding is on the verge of being replaced by AI. Many repetitive jobs are already being automated, which understandably causes anxiety for younger generations preparing for their careers. The smartest move for them is to lean toward fields that require adaptability—jobs that demand problem-solving, creative thinking, and on-the-spot adjustments, things AI struggles with.

Fortunately, I’m past the point of worrying about the future. I’m retired now, so my focus is on the present, on the practical and the meaningful. My endurance is slowing, my mental sharpness is fading, and my health requires more attention—realities I accept. But I know I can still find happiness within my shrinking space and time. My goal is simple: to continue doing what I enjoy without expecting anything beyond the joy of the process. Blogging, coding, learning video techniques—it’s all about keeping my mind engaged. After all, I’ve already earned the fruits of my labor. Soon, I’ll be receiving my fixed income, which means I can live freely without financial worries.

I keep track of my daily schedule, ensuring it includes activities I love without compromising my health. My ultimate goal is to live with a good quality of life until the Lord calls me home. These days, I care more about pleasing God and myself than seeking approval from others. Yesterday, I posted the videos I created, though I know they wouldn’t capture the attention of those looking for entertainment—attractive people, jokes, dance moves. My videos leaned more towards advertising-style content, which rarely gets noticed. But that doesn’t matter to me. What matters is that I created something new, something beyond my usual routine of compiling clips with music. Now, I can incorporate this skill into my blogs, making them more visually engaging. That’s what I want—to keep evolving, mixing things up.

Life shouldn’t be stagnant. I don’t mean in terms of lifestyle—mine hasn’t changed much—but mentally, I refuse to stay boxed in. Looking back at my parents, I don’t think they pushed beyond the boundaries of their small-town life. My mother was mentally exhausted, but her struggles stemmed from worries, anger, and failing health. My father, despite earning a significant lump-sum pension, remained confined by familial obligations and societal expectations. Even after my mother passed, his attempts at finding love again were met with resistance from both the town’s morality and his embarrassed children. Small towns can be restrictive, resistant to personal or social change. Instead of exploring new friendships, traveling, or pursuing creative projects, my father’s world remained small. A love affair may not have been the best choice for him, but there were so many other possibilities he could have embraced.

That’s why I’m grateful to live where I do now. Here, no one knows me, so no one cares what I do. I’ve had the freedom to explore—friendships across different backgrounds, love affairs that never quite sparked, fleeting encounters, travel, and even joining a running club. None of those things brought me lasting joy.

What does bring me joy? My morning meditation. My morning runs. My two hours of work. The few close friends I have, who are here through thick and thin—some by choice, others by circumstance. I’m fortunate to find fulfillment in intellectual pursuits rather than in fleeting pleasures or material gains. And that’s enough.
2025-02-03 09:55:39
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Popong 18 / Avoiding Distraction

January 18, 2025
2 Corinthians 5:21–6:2
21 God made him who had no sin to be sin[a] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
6 As God’s co-workers, we urge you not to receive God’s grace in vain. 2 For he says,
“In the time of my favor I heard you,
and in the day of salvation I helped you.”[b]
I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.

I woke up this Saturday morning feeling delighted—it’s the weekend, a time to lounge around the house without any pressing work. Then it hit me: I don’t have pressing work on most days anymore. I’m about 90% retired now.

It’s funny how habits linger. You may physically leave them behind, but the mind takes its time to catch up. I still feel that weekend joy, even though my days are practically free. Humans are creatures of habit, bound by rhythms and routines that resist change.

But I’ve learned to manage these mental habits, thanks to the Lord. Today, I’ve decided to have a calm but productive day. Without intention, idleness often leads me down unproductive or even harmful paths. I’ve noticed this pattern in myself: when I feel a void, I’m tempted to fill it with distractions, some of which stem from old habits. For example, wandering aimlessly, seeking fleeting pleasures, or revisiting places tied to past choices. These are remnants of an older, less disciplined version of myself.

Thankfully, I avoided the more destructive habits some others have succumbed to—drugs, alcohol, or complete self-abandonment. I’ve seen so many fall into these traps. Take Jennifer, a stroke victim I met who clung to an abusive drug addict. Or the older woman who, after losing her husband, spiraled into self-destruction rather than rebuilding her life. I’ve met women who traded dignity for survival, entrapped by men who exploited their vulnerabilities. Witnessing these stories reminds me how easily one can slip into darkness without the Lord’s guidance.

I am deeply grateful to God for helping me navigate these challenges. My fear of the Lord, my responsibilities, and prayer have been my anchors. Yet, I still find myself wrestling with remnants of old temptations, habits, and the emptiness that leads so many astray. There’s a universal truth here: we all seek fulfillment. For most, this comes from family, community, or pursuing life’s goals. But for those of us on the fringes—isolated, idle, or lonely—the pull of temptation can be strong.

Humans are driven by pleasure, though not always in the same way. Some are drawn to noble causes—charity, community service, or creative pursuits. Others, like me, must work harder to channel our energies into meaningful activities. I want to emulate those who find fulfillment in intellectual or creative endeavors: writers, artists, thinkers, and scientists. These individuals are so absorbed in their work that fleeting pleasures hold no appeal.

To protect myself from idleness and distraction, I need structure. I imagine a “mini-dystopian” environment, where everyone is focused on personal goals, free from distractions. Such a setting would keep me accountable, just as my work and studies did years ago. Back then, I was too busy for temptations, though the pace was exhausting.

The challenge lies in recreating that sense of purpose now. I need clear, realistic goals—tasks that bring fulfillment and joy. My ideal day would include walking in nature, reading intellectually stimulating books, and revisiting programming languages I learned long ago. I also want to finish my blogs, fiction, and health articles.

What I want to avoid are the traps of modern idleness: endless internet scrolling, aimless driving, or unproductive social interactions. Distractions are everywhere, and it takes discipline to resist them. The environment plays a critical role. A focused setting—like a gym, writing class, or accelerated academic course—can inspire productivity. On the flip side, being surrounded by idle or aimless individuals can be detrimental.

A free society allows individuals to pursue their own paths, but it can also breed distraction. To succeed, I must pretend I live in a disciplined, goal-oriented society. In such a place, everyone works toward something meaningful, and there’s no room for aimless wandering or indulgence. I thrive in structured environments where goals are clear, distractions are minimized, and focus is paramount.

Unfortunately, finding such an environment in my current life is difficult. Libraries, gyms, and other public spaces often come with distractions. And modern conveniences, like the internet and streaming services, are ever-present temptations. Still, I believe with the Lord’s guidance, self-discipline, and intentional planning, I can create an environment that fosters growth, purpose, and fulfillment.
2025-01-18 18:45:41
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